Chapter 18: Alan Escalation
My review of this and the following chapters will be brief. The letters Alan wrote at this time are very hard to read, especially since child abuse is a constant factor in my life. I love my brothers. They are my family. It has been extremely hard for me not to fly to their sides during life threatening illnesses, but I am afraid to open the door even a tiny crack. I am afraid to see the monster again and be faced with reporting them to the authorities. What if my giving in to see them is construed in their minds as my accepting their pedophilia as OK? Alan said repeatedly that if a family brought him into their home, then they were initiating and setting up their child to be a victim? Is that one of the reasons I am writing this book? Am I gaining the strength to lock them up? Only time will tell.
Alan begins with, "The First Escalation: 'Despite all of the extra steps that I'd added to the selection process, my plan up until this point had always been to pick two victims, take them together for a weekend, and force them to perform jointly. The idea that I could pick any two and make this happen was exciting to me, I now began thinking of something even more exciting - something which would prove that I had even more control over both victims.'"
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